Are you someone who struggles to say no?
Do you have a tendency to allow the demands of others override the things that YOU are called to do?
If so, let me offer you an anecdote that will set you free to say NO to that which was intended to distract you, and say YES to God’s best FOR you!
The Anecdote That Will Set You Free
In the small one-page chapter of Acts 6, we read that dissension begins to arise in the church. The Grecian Jews complained that their widows were being treated unfairly.
In hopes of settling the dispute, the people take their complaints to the apostles, expecting them to lay their own assignment aside, and instead turn their attention to the matter at hand.
The apostles’ response was one I hope to not soon forget.
“It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers and sisters, choose seven from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them, and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.” (Acts 6: 2-4)
The apostles’ weren’t suggesting that the task of waiting tables was beneath them, rather they were simply acknowledging that this was not what THEY were called to do.
The apostles did not deem the task irrelevant, nor did they dismiss the complaints of the people as unimportant, but they realized that there were others who could be trusted to oversee the situation, thus freeing them up to do what God had specifically called them to do – preach the Word of God.
Friends, there is a lesson here that I find refreshing.
WE DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL!!!
In fact, we weren’t meant to.
Isn’t that good news?
The Enemy’s Subtle Lie
Too many times I have given into the lie that I must do it all.
Be all. Have all. Give all.
The lie that derives from feelings of obligation and condemnation.
I’ve been guilty of putting the demands of others above my own. I’ve neglected the call of God on my life, by allowing the immediate needs of others to take precedence over my own.
I’m not suggesting that we become self-absorbed, or that in our attempt to follow God’s purpose for our life, we become strictly self-seeking. This post is NOT a license to be selfish. There must be balance.
It’s important to recognize that there is a subtle difference between the “important” and the “important for YOU.”
This truth became especially alive to me the year God called me to write.
Saying YES to God’s Call
Writing in and of itself comes easily to me. I enjoy putting words to paper, and thinking up new topics to write about. I love being alert to my surroundings, while looking for ordinary life to give way to extraordinary lessons in grace.
Thumbing through the dictionary is a favorite pastime, because words make a story come alive! And I thrive on discovering the perfect expression to describe the story I’m trying to portray.
But what’s NOT so easy is finding the time to write.
I am a wife, a mother, a home-schooler, a bible study hostess, a friend, a sister, a speaker, an entrepreneur.. the list goes on and on.
There is a never-ending catalog of duties that must be fulfilled – food to cook, laundry to wash, kids to educate, a house to clean, baths to give, messages to send, bills to pay, date nights to schedule, lessons to prepare, etc.
Ya’ll, I’m never alone in my own house! Never. Not once. Not ever.
I am surrounded by people, and noise, and television, and nonstop talking all the live-long day!
Don’t get me wrong. I love my abnormally large, loud family! And while it’s true that there are necessary tasks that must be fulfilled, the wonderfully freeing truth is that I can say NO to some things, in order to say YES to other things!
I don’t have to do it all!
Choosing The Better
Instead of feeling overwhelmed with responsibility, I can choose my time wisely, and determine to put the ministry God has given me, (my family, my home, my work), above the lesser important, albeit never ending, requests that are constantly before me.
I can CHOOSE to delegate.
Truth be told, delegating may be even more difficult for me to do than to simply say “no” or “not now” to. Delegating means giving over the responsibility to another party. This is not always easy.
This is where my pride has a tendency to rear its ugly head, and convince myself that no one can oversee a particular duty as well as I can.
Allow me to give you a minor example..
An Lesson in Delegation
I seem to be the only one in our house who can load the dishwasher right.
There. I said it.
I practically cringe anytime someone else attempts to do so.
My dear husband, (who has many wonderful qualities), is possibly the worst dishwasher loader of all time. There is no rhyme or reason to his madness. He overcrowds, and under-rinses, and piles high the dishes in a very disorganized manner.
It drives me nuts!
It might not bother me so much, except that nothing gets clean that way!
As a result, we find ourselves re-washing the majority of the load that should have been cleaned, had it been loaded correctly the first time.
Okay, end of tangent. 😉
When our youngest daughter made her grand appearance into the world, my hubby took several weeks off from work to help with the everyday tasks. He did a wonderful job of cooking, and cleaning, and running errands, while I simply attended to the needs of our newborn.
When it came time for the dishes to be done, I simply chose to grin and bear it, reminding myself that this was his gift to me. It was a blessing to have him home to help take care of the responsibilities that would otherwise, most assuredly, have gone undone.
Take it from me. Even old dogs can learn new tricks!
I’m thankful for the opportunity to say NO to my natural instinct to be overly controlling, and instead bask in the delight of caring for my newborn, while my husband handled the rest.
The Beauty of Delegation
The apostles, when approached with a situation that needed immediate attention, knew that although there was a responsibility to oversee the food rations, it was NOT necessary for them to be the ones to oversee it.
The apostles realized there were other, quite capable men who could be called upon to help care for the needs of the people.
By delegating the town responsibilities, the apostles were then freed up to continue the ministry work set before them. The very work that God Himself had called them to!
Had pride got the best of them, there’s a good possibility that exhaustion would have set in. If they had attempted to accomplish all that was on their plate, (including that of the town people), the community would have suffered:
- A job poorly done.
- OR a job incomplete.
Either one of these unfortunate outcomes could have led to an even greater area of dissension among the people.
The Purpose of Delegation
Delegating does two things:
- First, it allows you to walk in the greater destiny that God has specifically in mind for YOU.
- Secondly, it gives opportunity for others to rise up and discover their own God-given talents.
Who knows if your pride – your unwillingness to delegate – might actually be depriving a fellow brother or sister from walking out their unique calling?
Are you willing to find out??
Is it possible your unwillingness to delegate might actually be depriving another from living out their calling? Discover how to say NO to what's good, in order to say YES to God's best! #PurposeDrivenLife #JustSayNo… Share on XMy husband never did grow into a skilled dishwasher-loader throughout those weeks of practice, but I now know that I don’t have to do it all.
What a relief to know that there are others who can be trusted to step up to the plate, and get the job done.
I am learning to say NO. I have decided to embrace the wisdom of delegation. I will choose to lay down my pride, and refuse to compromise the work God has entrusted to me, for the mere approval of others.
I am living with purpose and intention. And friend, YOU can too!
Join the Discussion
So what about you? Is there an area in your life that maybe you need to delegate?
Do you need to say No to some things in order to be able to say Yes to what God has called you to? Share below?
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Hooray for the freedom of saying no to a task and YES to the process of bringing others into leadership and independence.
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It’s funny because it’s my husband that doesn’t like when I load the dishwasher!! It used to be hard for me to say no but once I started getting worse with my health I had to realize that I couldn’t do what I once could. It was and sometimes still is hard for me that I have to say no but I’m so thankful that God is guiding me through navigating it all.
This post brought such a smile. Our dishwasher may have been re-organized after someone else had done it 🙂 Saying yes, to not only delegating but letting it get done their way.
We don’t have to do it all. I just need to say that to myself over and over. laurensparks.net
Oh, wow, Rachel. I love how you tied the story in Acts 6:2-4 to the wonderful world of saying “no” for the better thing…for what God has called us to do! I’ve never looked at this passage in this particular light before. Yet, it’s so true and freeing to us type A personaliies. And grateful you discuss delegation with such vulnerability. It’s always been hard for me to delegate as well…things around the house to even ministry areas. Being able to let go of a particular task hoping it will be done “right.” Or at least what I believe is the right way in my eyes. I gleaned so much wisdom and insight here. Thank you!
Yes, I love this! –>It’s important to recognize that there is a subtle difference between the “important” and the “important for YOU.”
It is freeing when we realize that even though we CAN do many things, we aren’t supposed to do them all. I’m a little better about saying no than I used to be. 🙂
Oh how true! We can take another blessing by doing what they were called to do. We need to learn how to be in tune with God and follow as He calls. We women may think we can do it all, but let’s be honest, we can’t! Many Thanks 8)
True – “We don’t have to do it all,” I need to pin that one up. I have made great strides in this area but will probably always be a work in progress. Thank you.
Okay, so you amaze me with all you have on your plate. I can’t believe you write at all. But we are all so blessed you do.
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