Guest Post by Maree Dee
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Have you ever had your hopes and dreams shattered into a million pieces? Has the life you used to live become a distant memory and the present day full of tremendous pain? Do you look to the future, and all you see is darkness and the unknown?
I found myself in this place when my child first began exhibiting signs of mental illness. Not only were my plans changed but the expectations of the life she wanted began evaporating before her eyes.
How does one find hope when dreams are shattered?
Denial
At first, denial kicked in, and with determination, I set out to make sure everything would go back to precisely the way it was before the mental illness. I needed no convincing. I was sure this would NOT be our “new normal” but only a short detour. We would work hard, find great doctors, and together we would conquer this illness. I refused to see our dreams were shattered.
Yes, I am a fighter with a positive way of thinking. Of course, this isn’t all bad, but it is not sustainable for the long haul. Positive thinking will not be enough when dreams are shattered!
As life settled in, it became apparent the world of mental illness was here to stay in my home. It could not be wished away or fought away or moved to disappear with positive thinking. I needed something more. Something to help me kick the covers off my body, lift my head from my pillow, put my feet on the floor and get out of bed each morning.
I needed HOPE as I had never needed it before.
Especially on the days when it appeared all those around me had given up on HOPE for a better day. My soul was crying out.
But how does one find HOPE in something they aren’t sure will come to fruition. It seemed dangerous to set oneself up for such disappointment. How could my heart hope for a better day and handle the failure if a better day never comes.
It wasn’t unusual to find each day getting worse. At times I moved along at a slow, gradual pace of improvement only to take a giant step backward. I needed hope which could withstand the ups and downs of an illness of this magnitude.
Something Needed to Come Before HOPE.
I had to put my full Trust in God. To lay my child at the feet of Jesus and say, “I will put my trust in you – if healing comes, if illness remains, and even if death occurs.” I know you love her even more than I ever could. “I trust you, God.”
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. – Proverbs 3:5
Once I firmly establish my trust in the Lord, I can find HOPE.
But this HOPE is different; it is not a mere wish of something good to come or my circumstances miraculously changing.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19
My Hope Is In The Lord!
Even when I do not understand the purpose of the pain, or why our dreams are shattered – I turn to Him and say, “I trust you, God.” “I put my hope in you.”
I bring to mind what I know for sure about God.
- God is Good.
- He never leaves our side.
- He loves me.
- God loves my children more than me.
- He wins in the end.
- Together we can handle anything.
Many times along this journey, experts have argued about what the future holds. They have tried to persuade us to give up from time to time. But I smile, and whisper to myself,
“But you don’t know my God.”
“For nothing will be impossible with God.” – Luke 1:37
I know my God can do the impossible! I have seen him do it. But of course, that doesn’t mean He will. I must choose to trust Him and put my Hope in the Lord.
Does My Hope Ever Waiver?
Yes, it does! When I take my eyes off of Jesus and stare at the pain, frustration, and unfairness of mental illness, my hope diminishes at rapid speed. After all, this is my child who is suffering, and it hurts. I can’t fix it or wish away the pain.
Sometimes I wallow in this place a bit too long and need a little bit of help to move me back to where I can find my HOPE in God.
It helps me to pull out a piece of paper and label it, “I will remember.” I then begin jotting down all the things I can remember which God has done before. Sometimes I even start with the stories in the Bible.
Next, I write on a piece of paper my GOD IS BIG, and nothing is impossible for HIM.
Yes, God does allow some unthinkable pain here on earth. I won’t claim to understand it.
For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. – 1 Corinthians 13:12
I choose to trust and put my hope in HIM. Yes, I will continually pray for healing, but if it doesn’t occur, I know God will make it all right in Heaven, and in the meantime, God will be with me every step of the way.
You may not have a child with a mental illness, and your circumstances may be quite different. However, we have one thing in common..
We all need Hope!
When you feel like giving up on HOPE? Try remembering what God has done, trust in Him and put your hope in the Lord.
A Hopeful Prayer: T.R.U.S.T.
Lord,
T – Thankful
Thank you for all you have done in the past. You have carried me through. Thank you for never leaving me alone.
R – Repent
Please forgive me when I fail to Trust and put my Hope in you. I know your plan is right and good. You have my best interest in mind and love my loved ones and me more than I could ever comprehend.
U – Uplift Your Request
Lord, I lift my request to you. I pray for healing but if it doesn’t come on this side of heaven, please help me to know you are with me even to the end of the world.
S – Sit Still
Lord, help me to quiet my soul and my stirring long enough to listen to your whispers.
T – Take Hold of God
Lord, I take hold of you today. I put my trust and hope in you.
AMEN
Have you ever had your hopes and dreams shattered? How do you hang on to Hope?
To view all of the topics in this series, check out our Stories of Hope page, and discover how others have chosen to live a life of hope, despite life’s greatest challenges!
Maree Dee is a Writer | Speaker | Advocate – passionate about “Embracing Life in the Midst of the Unexpected.” She is a work in progress, accepting God’s grace and mercy every day. Maree believes together with God we can find incredible blessings along the way – even in the midst of the unexpected.
Drop by and visit Maree’s blog on Embracing the Unexpected – www.embracingtheunexpected.com
She can also be found on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, and Embracing Faith and Mental Illness from a Caregiver’s Perspective.
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Rachel – What an honor to be sharing my words on your site. Thank you! I love this series on Hope! Blessings, Maree
Maree, the honor was all mine! Your words are a blessing, and bring such comfort and hope! Thank you for sharing in this space! 🙂
I promised Dr Kala to share to the entire public if he could help me to get my ex wife back which prompted me to write this beautiful testimony for the amazing things Dr Kala did for me by getting my ex wife back to me after she filed for a divorce. I love my wife so much and i could not accept the fact that i am loosing her, so i went into research to get some tips on how i could get my wife back and i saw a comment on one of the forum, a lady testifying how she was able to get her ex back by reaching out to Dr Kala and i also contact Dr Kala on email and explain my problem to him and he helped me to get my wife back within 2days and my wife stopped the divorce and return back to me, promising me that she will never leave me again and also beg me to forgive her which i did and right now i am enjoying my marriage and all thanks to Dr Kala the great spell caster who is capable of bringing back ex lover and put an end to your divorce, marriage and relationship problems. You can as well reach out to Dr Kala on email: kalalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347051705853
Thank you, Maree, for words that encourage me to put my hope in the only safe object available.
Yes – it is God!
We are beginning to walk this path ourselves. My youngest was just diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder combined type… It hurts, like the shattering of dreams. Thank you for sharing your story and the hope you find in Trusting God. I trust God, I just didn’t see this coming.
Tiffany – I think it is always a shock. I can’t tell you how many times I awaken in the morning and think it was just a dream. I squeeze my eyes tight and think when I open them, it will all be the way it used to be. So thankful God is with us. I just wrote a post on Tuesday on the blessings I have found in the midst of my child’s mental illness. God is good! Thank you for reading and commenting. I am praying for you.
Yes, I’ve experienced times where my dreams have been shattered. I’m so thankful I can place my hope in Christ. This was such an encouraging post.
Dawn – Thank you for your encouraging words. No doubt we all will have our dreams shattered at some point.
Blessings,
Maree
I really appreciate this. More Christians need to tell the story of their mental health struggles to destigmatize them. laurensparks.net
Lauren – Thank you! I agree more people do need to tell their stories. Maree
Thank you, Maree, for sharing your hopeful story with us, especially since May is Mental Health Awareness month. He is the source of our hope!
Laurie – Yes, God is the source of our HOPE. Thank you for your encouragement. Maree
It isn’t easy to give our children back to the Lord. It truly takes a walk of trusting Him. I love your acronym at the end. I’m a fan of them. 😉
So true and so easy to forget when we feel like we are drowning. I love the tips especial remembering what God has done. I find spending time praising Him is always helpful. Thanks for sharing your faith, your hope in Jesus in such a real and transparent way. Praying for your daughter.
As a friend of mine says, Hope changes everything. And she continues to name “Hope” as our Heavenly Father. Thank you for pointing me to hope through your words today. We all waiver and your idea to list and remember all God has done before is a practical way to reset our focus. Blessings, Maree!
Maree,
Your words are comforting and full of hope! Thank you for sharing your story and pointing me to Christ every time!
“In Christ alone my hope is found.” I, too, have gone through this exact scenario. It wasn’t until I let go of my hope for a specific set of circumstances and chose to trust that God is Who He says He is NO MATTER WHAT that I was able to experience the “peace that passes all understanding.” The list I created to restore hope was, “What do I know for sure?” I didn’t know what my circumstances were going to look like, but I do know that God is faithful. I do know that He has a plan. I do know that He is good. The only things I know for sure are the things God has revealed to me through His Word. But focusing on those helped me endure the chaos on the pain and keep my hope in Him. How grateful I am that He hasn’t left us to navigate this life alone!
A big fat AMEN to this, Jana! And oh how i needed to hear these words spoken today. <3
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