Guest Post by Jenna Kosters
Have you experienced major disappointments in life?
The Lord says: “My thoughts and my ways are not like yours. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, my thoughts and my ways are higher than yours. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
A few weeks ago, I shared a major disappointment for our family. I miscarried our third child.
It was our first miscarriage and I was so confused and disappointed…
The Disappointment
To back up a bit, baby was a huge surprise. I was excited (and scared, to be honest) to be expecting our third child. Fast forward a few days, I was miscarrying…
So many curve balls in such a short period. We went from an exciting surprise to so devastated, all in a week’s time. It was really hard to process.
Part of me felt like the beginning of the week hadn’t even taken place, like it was a dream.
Misery Loves Company
They say misery loves company. However, I think God ingrained in us a desire to find people who have gone through what we are struggling with… As humans, we long for community.
Unfortunately, I have had several friends miscarry. So, I knew it wasn’t unusual, sadly. One in four pregnancies, to be exact.
I also knew that God had given me this trial to share Him with others. God’s timing is amazing – I don’t find it unusual that writing about disappointment was on my mind when this trial arose…
God has shown me in many ways that my life is for His glory.
Maybe you can relate… You go through a hard time and later on someone you know goes through the exact same thing.
Growing in Righteousness from Disappointments
Before our loss, our family had no idea how to empathize with pregnancy loss. If you haven’t experienced disappointment, you don’t know how to offer support.
I realized looking back, I probably said something inconsiderate/hurtful without meaning to.
Sharing publicly about my own journey with pregnancy loss is being incredibly vulnerable in a world that doesn’t really discuss miscarriage. Seems like we shy away from discussing loss. However, I cope by writing and sharing.
Finding Purpose in Disappointments
I think God makes some of us that way so we share about Him in the midst of our disappointments and hardships.
For example, right after sharing my raw emotions about miscarriage and 5 ways I am coping, a friend reached out to me and said how angry at God she has been since her miscarriage.
So, God opened the door for me to share Him with her. I was able to express how loving God is… How our heartbreaks and disappointments are to draw closer to Him, not to tear us apart.
When this trial came my way, and any others, I had the choice to trust in Him and find my hope in Him. Or, I could blame Him.
If you believe in God, it is easy to blame Him because as a believer, you know He’s in control of everything. So, how isn’t this His fault?
Satan is the father of lies. Satan wants me to be angry at God, so I stop praising His name when I’m disappointed and tired. He preys on our low moments, creating spiritual warfare.
So what combats Satan? Here are 5 simple ways to win the spiritual warfare battle in the aftermath of major disappointments!
5 Tips to Coping with Disappointment
1.Bible Study
Reading the Bible every night is probably the only thing I consistently do every single day. If I forget, I can’t sleep and then God reminds me I didn’t read! (How neat is that?!)
This past year, I found the most amazing Bible study group and it holds me accountable all year long and helps me grasp way more than I could on my own. You can check out Bible Study Fellowship at https://www.bsfinternational.org. It is offered all around the world and is a very engaging Bible study. I seriously can’t say enough good things.
2. Church Family/Mentor
I praise God for my Christian friends… In the past four years, I have surrounded myself more and more with believers. Having a community of believers really seems to help me get through tough times and share joy in great times!
Also, a church family is an awesome way to find purpose in the church too. Helping out the church can bring a lot of meaning and passion.
3. Faith-based Counseling
As mentioned, hard times and heartbreak have a way of tearing us down. It’s hard to think and we are angry, confused and hurt.
I have my master’s degree in counseling andI have seen first hand the powerful impact of sharing with others when you are struggling. Counseling is a great way to get anger, hurt and rejection off your chest without a friend judging you or just saying what you want to hear.
Learning appropriate coping skills is a powerful lesson, at any age.
4. Prayer
Pray unceasingly for God to show you what to do with your disappointment.
Especially when you’re grieving, it is really hard to see the silver lining. It is unfathomable that God has a “better” plan for you in those moments.
Those are the best moments to pray for God to remind you of His promises and grant you peace.
5. Have Faith
Have faith that God will make something beautiful, open a new opportunity or change you for His glory with the disappointment put in your life.
For instance, I was incredibly disappointed with my experience when I went to college. Unlike most freshmen, I had no interest in drinking and wasn’t sure where that left me.
I was very lonely. I wanted so badly to have real friends, not party friends who aren’t actually listening, etc.
God brought me just that my senior year… In fact, He brought me three great friends. Have patience and faith in God.
Conclusion
Over the years, I have definitely been discouraged by disappointments. I had plans of my own that I thought were perfect. However, God was faithful and gently showed me that He had greater plans for my life that I couldn’t have dreamt up myself.
I pray that God reveals His purpose in your pain and disappointment, too! Only He can bring beauty from that pain, girl.
Prayer for Today:
Dear Jesus, Thank You for the hope we can find in Your promises! You always have our best interests in mind and we can rely on You without knowing what the ending will be. I am so grateful that I can cast all my cares upon You. You are a genuine friend who listens to each and every one of my thoughts, prayers and dreams. I praise Your name for all that You will teach me through this disappointment, for I know that You are close to the brokenhearted. Amen.
To view all of the topics in this series, check out our Stories of Hope page, and discover how others have chosen to live a life of hope, despite life’s greatest challenges!
Hello, I am Jenna and am a stay at home mom and wife from South Dakota. I started peachesandprayer.com in 2018 to encourage other women in deepening their walk with Christ right alongside me!
I also love to be creative, so I share a lot of Healthy Recipes, Home DIY and Parties.
You can find more about me at the following places:
Peaches and Prayer Blog | Instagram | Pinterest
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Oh…
Jenna, I’ve also traveled this path, and remember a certain New Year’s Eve when the word both my husband and I came up with (separately!) to describe our year was “disappointment.” It’s a slow slog to hope sometimes, and yet there’s the truth, always new, that God walks with us in those long, dark seasons. Thank you for shining your light here today!
Thank you Michele! <3
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Thank you, Jenna, for sharing your words of hope with us today. There’s no question that life can be disappointing at times. But I have found God to be more real, more near, during these painful and confusing times. And with Him, there is always HOPE. Hugs to you.❤️
Thanking Him, He is close to the brokenhearted! Thank you!
Disappointments can be so crushing. I appreciate you sharing your heart with us, Jenna. Praying that the Lord continues to bring healing to your family. Losing a child is one of the greatest disappointments any mother can face. Thanks for your tips here on handling disappointments at any level.
So true, Lisa. Thank you!
Great words of encouragement Jenna, thank you! I love the 5 ways to win in spiritual warfare, great tips for dealing with disappointment. I think everyone of us will deal with our share of disappointment in this life, I am so grateful that God is a great redeemer. Many Thanks 8)
Thank you Debra! Amen!
I am sorry for your loss. But thank you for sharing your story with us. laurensparks.net
Thank you, Lauren
Thank you Jenna for sharing your story. It’s so sad to hear when these disappointments happen in life, and even sadder when people chose to be angry at God instead of putting their hope in Him. Thank you for your beautiful words of hope and understanding. I’m praying for you! 🙂
I agree, Nicole… Thank you for the prayer!
I am so glad you can say, it is to draw you closer and tear you apart. That is true of a lot of things. I just read Dawna’s Story, I believe on Grace and Truth. her losses were mixed with her illnesses. So sorry to hear this, keep that attitude, you draw closer.
Thank you for your support, Rebecca.
Thank you for sharing brave so we can all draw closer to Jesus. Know that here, across the internet, you have people who are grateful for your honesty and solid wisdom. Praying God continues to make His love and grace known to you and your family.
Amen – It is refreshing! Thank you, Rebecca.
Jenna, I’m so sorry about your pregnancy loss, but I love that you’re sharing your story and allowing God to use your pain to minister to others. These are great pieces of advice for walking through times of loss and disappointment.
Thanks so much, Lesley!
We all face disappointments throughout this life and this walk with Christ. These tips are right on point about how to walk through it for sure. THank you for sharing and being so transparent.
Thank you, Tiffany!
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