Guest Post by Heather Hancock
Have you ever had to hope & wait for something you desperately longed for?
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 ESV
I spent my 20s and 30s attending a lot of weddings and baby showers. By the time I was 35, I had been the Maid of Honor, the Bridesmaid, and sat as a spectator at my friends’ weddings.
I attended the baby showers of many, and obligingly held their squirming little bundles of joy. Before I knew it, all those children were in school, and my friends had bought houses.
Some had moved away. They were all getting on with their lives and I was stuck – single and aging..
Of course I had tried the dating scene, but there were challenges in that arena, given my disability. I couldn’t hide the Cerebral Palsy I had been born with. It wasn’t my fault I was born premature, or that God saved me when I was deemed too small for survival. He had other plans, and I was okay with that, except for the “being single” part.
There were many adults, while I was growing up, that tried to dissuade me from dreaming of a husband: “Handicapped people do not get married!”
It was always stated as an absolute, but I had the dream of being a Bride, and having a husband to grow old with.
I tried dating, went on blind dates my friends set me up with, and did everything I could to meet “Mr. Right,” but the men couldn’t see past my disability.
I was looked upon as a friend or a “sister in Christ”, but never as a woman.
Frustrated, I left the real world dating scene, and opted for the new fad of “online dating” because I could leave the CP out of my profile.
I tried multiple sites, and the only men messaging me were old enough to be my Dad…eww!
I remember the day, I took down all my profiles and told God out loud, “I give up! I am done with searching. If You have a husband for me, then You’re going to have to literally drop him in my lap!”
From that moment onward, I didn’t think about marriage or men. Instead, I busied myself combing the scriptures for how to be content in my singleness. I drew very close to God, and found contentment in my fellowship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I hadn’t known such depth of fellowship was possible, and all thoughts of marriage left my mind.
Looking back on it now, I think God was waiting for that moment. I was 40, single, and very content to be alone for the rest of my life.
I was attending a house church, and loving the friendships I developed from within that group of believers. There were visitors who came and went, so I wasn’t surprised at the new face popping in the door, one sunny Sunday summer afternoon.
The leader of our group told me that he was a poet as well, and that peaked my curiosity because I had never actually met any male poets. That was pretty much the extent of it.
Over the next months this fellow and I formed a friendship. He lived in an apartment not far from my condo, and the friend who picked me up for church started to stop by his place to pick him up for church too.
Carpooling saved on gas, and for the two of us, provided a quicker way of attending, rather than taking city transit. The three of us formed a friendship that was sweet and fulfilling. My friend was divorced, and so none of us had partners or were dating anyone.
Three years later, Jeff and I became close friends. He lived in a bachelor suite in a house not far from my place, and God had me help him in different ways with material things, and encouragement for employment, etc. I was being a good friend.
Then, one night, God shifted our world with one hug. I remember staring at the door as he left my place heading for his own, and asking God, “what just happened?” I couldn’t wait for His answer, so I counted down the ten minutes I felt were enough for Jeff to get home, and I called him: “Hi, was it my imagination or did you hug me differently tonight before you left?”
There was silence for a few seconds at the other end of the phone line before he said, “Yes, I did.”
I’d love to paint a lovely fairy tale romance from that moment forward, but God had to work on both of our hearts. The criteria we both had for a spouse, had to be laid down, and we had to allow God to work on our hearts. It wasn’t about our wants and desires, it was about obedience to what God was asking us to do.
We had to be willing to lay down the criteria we had imagined in a spouse, and allow God to work on our heart's. #SurrenderedHearts #WaitinginHope via @hezzy777 Click To TweetFor Jeff, the question was “Will you love who I ask you to love?”
For me, the question was different, “Will you accept that Jeff is My Best for you?”
As we both worked through this process, my Dad, who had been sick for quite awhile, was finally diagnosed with ALS (a.k.a. Lou Gehrig’s Disease) and this added a new realm of difficulty.
We joked that ours was a Courtship of Fire! In the midst of all that, we became engaged!
My Dad used to play with my engagement ring when we went to visit him in hospital. I would reassure him that he would be allowed to watch the wedding from heaven. It was such a bittersweet time.
Dad passed away in September of 2011, and we made plans for a wedding in March 2012.
January of 2012 back spasms hit so hard that they left me unable to walk for 6-8 hours per day. We amended our wedding plans to include Jeff carrying me down the aisle.
To be honest, I was devastated.. to wait so long to walk down the aisle (even with my 4 wheeled walker) and then have it taken away as a possibility, was a nightmare.
I prayed and pleaded with God to take the back spasms away in time for my wedding.
Nothing happened.
I went to physiotherapy and massage therapy, and nothing seemed to work. In the midst of this, I had two dear friends taking me to dress fittings.
These two women literally had to hold me upright while the seamstress measured and pinned. I remember being held up while my back spasm’ed so violently that all I could do was cry.
Every fitting was like that, and the seamstress, who didn’t speak much English as she was Chinese, had a distressed look on her face each time she looked up to see me with tears running down my face. I am certain she thought I was being married against my will!
Then, suddenly two weeks before our wedding day, the back spasms stopped. The final dress fitting took place, and I remember the joy I felt at being able to now walk around the bridal shop with my perfectly altered dress on, without any back spasms hindering me.
The seamstress had a huge grin on her very relieved face, and my friends and I chuckled as we imagined the arranged marriage situation she must have been thinking was my lot. It was a fun ending to a wonderful day.
March 24, 2012 dawned bright and sunny. I hadn’t slept much the night before and was up early as I had a hairdresser and a make-up artist coming to prepare me before my friends arrived to help me into my dress.
That morning was magical.. the joy I felt as I watched the hairdresser create this very elaborate upswept hairdo that would hold my veil, was immense.
Then the makeup artist used her incredible gifts to create this understated glamorous look that made me feel beautiful. My heart was soaring, and when the ladies finished getting me into my wedding dress, it was all I had ever hoped it would be.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror in wonder: I was a Bride!
We shared our wedding day with family and a few close friends. My entrance song was “The Wedding Song” by Casting Crowns, and it was absolutely perfect!
I walked down the aisle (with my walker) as a beautiful Bride, enveloped in a bubble of joy because I knew my Dad was watching from heaven, and I could almost feel God smile as He granted me my heart’s desire.
Prayer for Today:
Father, you know the desires of each heart. I lift up every woman reading this who has a desire to be married and has spent years being single and wondering. Please use this story to fan the embers of hope back into flames burning steadily again in their hearts. Grant them renewed strength as they wait for Your perfect timing and for the ones You have hand picked for them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
To view all of the topics in this series, check out our Stories of Hope page, and discover how others have chosen to live a life of hope, despite life’s greatest challenges!
My name is Heather Hancock, and I started writing short stories as a child, poetry as a teen, and non-fiction articles as an adult.
I am a Christian Inner Healing Coach, Speaker and a Writer. As an overcomer of abuse and trauma, I use my gifts and skills to help other Christian women find emotional and spiritual healing and freedom.
I am also a member of the disabled community, having lived all of my 51 years with Spastic Cerebral Palsy. I currently post a monthly blog on my website, have published 5 articles in The Mighty, and have written short stories for teens and adults. I have had devotionals and stories published on Daughters of the Deep, and Coffee House Writers.
I love to learn and grow, and writing is a huge part of that. I have recently moved to Maple Creek, Saskatchewan, Canada with my husband and we are getting to know our community and new church family.
You can further connect with Heather in the following places:
Twitter and Facebook
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Such encouragement! Thank you for sharing your testimony, Heather. Many blessings to you and Rachel!
What a beautiful story to share! Thank you for sharing so honestly; I know it will help many women who can relate to how you felt!
Better than Hallmark!
Thank you for sharing your story and your faith here today! Blessings to you and your husband as you follow Christ–“heirs together of the grace of life.”
Much!
Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. laurensparks.net
Heather, what a wonderful love story! I love the truth in it because life isn’t a fairy tale there are struggles even in the midst of the dreams coming true. We often have to get through our own questions. I also love that you became content in singleness, and drew closer to the Lord in that season. God is always preparing us for the next chapter of our life, and it is beautiful! Many Thanks 8)
Congratulations, dreams do come true.
Wow – a wonder-filled story! Married at 35 I can relate to some of what you processed. Like, don’t want to mess up a great single life! HA God is good.
Your story made me cry! I’m so happy you were able to walk down the aisle and found such a wonderful man!
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