Guest Post by Jaime Wiebel
I needed to be redeemed from shame!
Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love. He will again have compassion on us; He will vanquish our iniquities. You will cast out all our sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:18-18)
My story is much like most people. The storyline may look a bit different but the pages are riddled with the same problem– Rebellion to the Creator.
I was living for myself. I was chasing every dream. Every whim. Every desire. My life was my own and I was the creator of my destiny.
But I was lost.
I was living deep in the trenches of pride and selfishness.
How Did I Get so Far Off the Path?
Let me give you a little bit of my back story. I was raised in a Christian home. I went to church on Sunday — twice. On Wednesdays. And on every other day that there was an event.
I knew all of the Bible stories and I believed them to be true with all my heart. They were as true and real as any other piece of history. I knew everything that was expected of me as a good Chrisitan girl and I could wear that hat well.
But as I came into my teen years, I started making decisions that looked just like the rest of the world. In my mind that didn’t because I was redeemed.
After all, I was going to church. I had accepted Christ as my Savior, been baptized, and was a member of the church. I had been to every youth event that I could possibly go to.
So how did I get so far off the path?
Where did it all go wrong?
When I was just a middle school, I began hanging out with friends that never went to church much less knew anything about God. I spent a lot of time with those friends. As I continued through high school, I was in places I should have never been in doing things I should have never done.
And deep down I knew it. My whole life was built around going to church. But it was never built around a real relationship with Christ.
So when opportunities arose, my faith didn’t prove to be very strong. I wavered and stammered depending on who I was around. Normal kid stuff for sure, but finding my way meant more about finding my own way instead of finding a way with Christ.
I didn’t see the importance of reading my Bible outside of the church. I remember always hearing about what was right and what was wrong but never why Jesus was the better solution.
When You’ve Broken the Rules
“Don’t drink. Don’t smoke. And don’t run around with girls who do.” I remember my grandpa always saying that in a funny way. You know, all the do’s and don’ts that you learn growing up in the church. I had learned them, and broken them all.
At that point in my life, I thought that I was too far gone. Too unreachable. And the rules were too unattainable. So I continued on the path of unrighteousness. It was easier and it was fun. I could be with my friends with no pressure to make good choices. I just did whatever they did.
And one thing always lead to another. And I didn’t mind this life. There wasn’t much expected of me. I was a normal everyday girl. Living for the world. I was doing all the “right” things. By this time, I was going to college. I was working hard-ish on my degree and settling into a path to become a teacher. As long as my grades were good and I was working, I was doing well or so I thought.
I continued to live this way into my mid-twenties. I had moved to several places working in my field. Working and paying my bills and having fun money was never a problem. And I was staying out of trouble. I was living a normal life.
"Don't drink. Don't smoke. And don't run around with girls who do." I remember my grandpa always saying that in a funny way. You know, all the do's and don'ts that you learn growing up in the church. I had learned them, and broken… Click To Tweet
God’s Standards are Not the Same as the World’s Standards
There are so many blessings that I truly missed out on. While I thought I was living a normal life, I was living far away from God. Even if I went to church, my actions and heart were not anywhere close to a relationship with Him.
I could go to church on Sundays and live for myself the rest of the week. But the problem with that was that eventually, I had to stop and come face to face with my redeemer.
Remember earlier, I had said I was saved. The thing is once you become a Child of God, He doesn’t take lightly to you living your own way. Of course, he will let you do it but there is always a cost.
And My Cost was Shame
My cost was much more than that but the shame was the hardest one to overcome. After I got married and we had our first child is when the baggage that I had carried all those years started falling out of its case. There is nothing that snaps you into reality like caring for another human being. But my baggage never came out pretty and tidy. It came out in anger and outrage and long periods of depression.
I remember many times when I would be on my face crying out to God asking Him to release me from the torment of the shame. I had known enough to go running to Him when I really needed something.
Here’s the thing. No one had told me to carry my guilt so long that it burned shame into my heart. No one even told me I had to be guilty of the life I lead. But because I was Christ’s child, I was convicted of my sin. The Holy Spirit that resided in me and was writing His laws on my heart and was trying to protect me.
All my sins piled up on my heart and I knew I was broken. The worst part was I had offended my Heavenly Father not just once but time and time again in rebellion. And I needed to face it and I needed to let Him redeem my shame.
He Had Redeemed My Shame
Just because I knew all the stories about Christ didn’t mean that I knew Him. In fact, if I had known Him well enough, I would have known all those years before that just because I had messed up once didn’t mean I was free to go on sinning. It didn’t mean that I had messed up so much that I would never be forgiven or that I was too late. Just because I had failed to do what was right didn’t mean that I was out of the reach of God’s unfailing love.
When Jesus went to the cross, He went to die for my sins past, present, and future. Our relationship was given the power of restoration when He rose from the dead.
I had left Christ. I had left Him by the wayside to live for myself so I didn’t have to be confined to a set of rules.
But I didn’t realize, His laws were so that I could have fun or experience joy. His laws were given for my protection. I needed to be protected from my own foolish ways.
Hedged In
Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? (Job 3:23)
I love the word picture here. God hedging me in.
I have hedges all around my yard. They serve as a fence. They have served as protection for my kids so many times to keep them in my yard. To keep them from getting in the street or out beyond where I can see them. They are hedged in for their protection and God does exactly the same thing for us.
He takes His arms and hedges us in. Not to keep us from having fun but to keep us from getting plowed over by life that is whipping down our street at 40 miles an hour.
I Was Redeemed From Shame and You Can Be, Too!
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2)
I mistakenly thought God was keeping me from living. But the truth was, all that baggage I was building up was keeping me from life. If you are in Christ, He has set you free from the bondage of sin. And if you are living in it, you know how much bondage it truly has on you.
I know you want to be free and there is a way! Christ made a way. He came to the cross. He died for our sins to take it all away. We don’t have to be captive to it. Sin and result of sin – shame – don’t have to bind our hearts. He came to set us free.
And when you are in Christ, there is no condemnation. It doesn’t mean to keep freely living for yourself but it does mean that you are forgiven.
But don’t stop there. That is where my life went wrong. I didn’t pursue a relationship with Him and fall in love with Him the way He had loved me. I didn’t realize He was the better way to life.
He came so that you would have an abundant life free from bonds of sin and death. Live free! You don’t need to carry that shame any longer. If you are in Christ, you ARE forgiven!
Prayers for Being Redeemed From Shame
Heavenly Father, Thank you for giving us a way to you to have the freedom from the shackles of sin. You are the God who gives life both here and for eternity. I ask that if there is anyone that is heavy with shame that they will lay it at your feet. I pray for anyone carrying a sin that seems too big to let go of, that you show them you are the better choice. Show them they don’t have to continue to live in rebellion because you have come to give them life and set them free. And, Lord, we ask that you give them daily reminders that they are free indeed! Amen.
To view all of the topics in this series, check out our Stories of Hope page, and discover how others have chosen to live a life of hope, despite life’s greatest challenges!
Get to Know Jaime More!
Jaime is the blogger encourager at Seeking God with Jaime Wiebel and Seeking God Daily Facebook Group. She is chasing Christ each day and has a passion for you, too, to have a genuine relationship with Him. As a blogger, her heart aims is to point people to Jesus and what He did for them through the cross and the empty grave. You can find Jaime on her site or buzzing around her favorite social media like Instagram and Pinterest and Facebook.
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What a beautiful and redemptive story, Jaime! I love how God helps us to see that our shame can be turned back into guilt and then FORGIVEN!
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Beautiful reminder, Jaime, of how our God not only forgives us but frees us from the guilt and shame. He brings wholeness to our lives completely. Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful and powerful story of redemption! I love the picture of the hedges, too. He is so good to us, even in the way He gently draws us back to Himself when we’ve been going our own way. Gracious is He!
Jaime, I relate to so much of your story. My late teen years were so much like yours! Praise Jesus that he redeems our sins AND lifts our shame! Thank you so much for sharing honestly in this space. I’m praying he uses these words to touch many lives!
I think so many of us can relate to this! Really understanding that relationship aspect, and that it is for our absolute BEST, makes all the difference.
And I loved this: “There are so many blessings that I truly missed out on.”
Jaime, thank you so much for bravely sharing your story of hope and being a light for other women. I remember knowing God but living life my own way well into my twenties. Clearly, that wasn’t His plan for me and I’m glad I finally came to my senses. Now it inspires me to say to other women, ‘there is a better way’ and know for a fact that is so true.
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